Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I need water and some morals
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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