Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
