Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We need to rekindle our bromance
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
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