I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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