i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
