I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Randomize
