dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
