I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
