i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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