So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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