I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
