i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
