she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
