And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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