What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
