I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
