Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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