at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize