did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
