with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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