My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
