dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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