girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
