I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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