Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Who did Billy Mays play for?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
