Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
