it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
