On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
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