the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
