Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
