Kiss
Puke
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
no, he came in my armpit
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
