so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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