Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
