Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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