After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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