why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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