So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
