It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
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