Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
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