No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
