I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
