tell your sister to shave her snatch
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
