It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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