I want to make a zoo with you.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I just had sex on a roof
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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