Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
