LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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