My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
as a side note pls kill me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
