Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You are a genius and a whore.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
