I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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