i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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