omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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