Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
