ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
