Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I forgot wine drunk hurts
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
