I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
