I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
