You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i think my cat just said my name.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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