im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
