There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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