Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
