But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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