It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
