All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
