My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
