how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
