so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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