you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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